Monday, 6 March 2017

20 Reasons Why You’ve Pissed Your Waitress Off

1. “I don’t normally complain BUT” - You don’t? Then why are you? Please be quiet and eat your meal your lies are annoying me.

2. Complaining after we’ve table checked you and you scoffed your WHOLE meal down - You want a free pudding? How about no? Now clean up that grease on your chin.

3. *Taking food to another table* “Excuse me! Excuse me!” - Can you not see these plates are heavy, hot and I really don’t have time for you right now. Your waitress is right behind you.

4. Taking orders - Do you not know how rude it is to be shouting me whilst I’m taking an order?I’m busy. Wait. You’re not 5, you’re 50 now act like it.

5. You aren’t funny - 9/10 we’ve heard it before and we are sick of pretending you’re funny or original.
6. You haven’t gone over to your table for 10 minutes and get comments like “Have you been abroad or something, I want a drink” - I’m not sunbathing in Ibiza, no. I'm just running out the food, doing cutlery, topping up sauces and looking after 11 other tables.
7. “How would you like your steak cooked?” - “In an oven” HAHAHA! GOOD ONE MATE.
8. "I don't like this can I have something else?" Yeah no problem, I'll just throw your whole meal away so you can try all our menu while there's kids starving in Africa... Yeah sure, WHY NOT.
9. Take you and your split bills and shove them where the sun don’t shine. Nobody has time for it.
10. If you click, shout or whistle your waitress you’re THE worst kind of person. We aren’t animals.
11. Ignorance isn't bliss - Calling the meal you have in your hand to give to a table and having everyone look at you, to then turn back and ignore you. Ok, shall I eat it then?
12. We don’t have limbs that extend you know? - It’s alright I can’t reach that plate, you just ignore me struggling. RUDE.

13. No thank you? No please? YOU’RE WELCOME.
14. "Do you have a table number?", "Can't you just put me on any one, I'm just there". Look matey, no table number no food. I'm not sending the staff out like Dora the explorer trying to find you and your friends.
15. We’re not a nursery - STOP letting your kids roll around, run and shout everywhere. If they get hurt you’ll soon blame us.
16. CLEAN up after YOUR child - It’s disgusting the mess grown adults leave for us to clean up. Would you leave your kitchen like that? No. I haven't got time to clean up your child's slobbery wosits on a busy Saturday night.

17. Your bill is £200 and you haven’t tipped - I once served a table of 15, heard a lady say to her husband “Did you tip?” he replied “Yeah, 26p.” Yeah, THAT.
18. Late walk ins - Let’s be honest there’s a special place in the fiery pit of hell for these people. We dislike you if you walk in a half an hour before close and we are finishing up... But we genuinely need anger management when you walk in 10 mines before close and want serving :). There’s take-away, indian and you know what? You’re probably nice people but I want to go home.
19. “You’re much brighter than this job, are you doing anything else?” - This is THE most back handed compliment I’ve ever heard. Please, you try doing this job.
20. There’s always that ONE person when you put your napkin down that moves it just as you’re about the put the cutlery down. You my friend need a poke in the eye.

All in all I do love my job, but this is for all the waiters/waitresses that can relate to all those annoying moments we have in this industry. Customers need to know how annoying and rude they can be. But for all those regulars/customers out there that don’t make a fuss, wait and actually see how hard we work, we love you. We are always more than happy to help nice people. Life is too short to be an arse.
On that note, think before you start being a norse to your waitress. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
Saranne x